Paintings You Eat

Honeymoon in Capri, Watercolor

As artists, certain pieces we make feed our souls.

When looking at it once it is complete, do I see parts of these images that aren’t perfect or do I think of what I could have done better? Of course. Admittedly, I’m my worst critic. But as artists we must take time to create pieces that encourage us while we create them. We must be able to look at these pieces and say “I know it’s not perfect, but I loved making it. I set my heart and hand at this work. In the process, I made something lovely for someone who will appreciate it.” Even if that someone is only you. Personally, I feel God’s pleasure when I make art just for the two of us, but that’s something to dive into another time.

I think that applies to everyone, by the way, not only artists. Sometimes I think we get so caught up in the results that we forget the initial joy in doing the thing we once loved. Maybe it’s a natural flaw in all of us. We used to love playing an instrument until we realize that someone is better, so we practice and we improve. We are excited and so we keep striving to get better and better- until all the joy is taken out of the process of practicing because we are just focused on the result.

Now, as one of my former pastors, Emy Vazquez, says, “Don’t hear what I’m not saying.” (Aka, listen to what I mean, here!).

I am not saying that it isn’t good to go after goals. First, because it would be highly hypocritical of me- I love having hard goals! But, I am saying that perhaps we need to understand that the more long-term joy is often found in appreciating what we are doing while we do it - not in what we are accomplishing. This is tricky for two reasons. First, because it’s hard to appreciate doing something that we never succeed at, which makes us focus on accomplishing or not doing something at all! Second, because it’s hard to not accomplish a lot when you are enjoying what you are doing.

All that said, though, my main point is that this is one of the reasons I create. I create because I know I need to remind myself of the joy and light in the world. Although I see how it positively shaped me looking back, I have experienced plenty of hurt and pain in my life (I won’t play a comparison saying mine is less or more than anyone else. That’s futile.). But I recognize God allows each person the pain which they are able to handle- not more, not less- and so I revel in the experiences I have had that make me who I am today.

I could focus on pain and problems and throw pity parties. I could spend my free time feeling sorry for myself. But I don’t. I could also, conversely, feel guilty that my life hasn't been harder. I could get lost in shame whenever I have a hard day because it isn’t as hard as someone else’s.

But I don’t.

Because I won’t.

I will create.

I will find joy in the process of becoming.

I will revel in how far I’m coming.

And I will sometimes just do things to feed my heart and soul because I know I need to. I make the space it. I make the time for it. I did it when I had literally no time- like when I was in graduate school (studying something I was not gifted in naturally), illustrating a book, planning my wedding and working as a new nurse. And I have done it when I have had a lot of time like when I first graduated college and felt lost because I didn’t have a job for a few months. The point is- you don’t get time to do the thing you love all the time (or ever really). You must make the time.

For me, I know my cup will be continuously filled by Christ as I find ways to do all things through Him and with him (see Acts 17:28 for some amazing words about this). Obviously if you know me you know I fail on the regular and by no means have accomplished it- but I won’t give up until I meet Him face to face.

So friend, if you made it this far, my final word is this to you- there is always more joy to be found. Sometimes you just need to do something that feed your soul, not just focus on what fills up your mouth, wallet, or to do list.

#watercolor #watercolorpainting #italyart #capri #favoriteview #italy #favoritemoments